I used to live by a question I first heard growing up in the Bronx. It was a simple phrase and I heard it in school, in the local candy store, on the playgrounds, and wherever I heard adults gathered.
"What's in it for me?" The key word in the phrase was "me." I used to think that my life was all about me. From my education to my career, every move I made was based on what would help me get ahead and get my way.
It was another way of saying, "You have to look out for Number 1" which was another ditty I heard over and over again. So I lived my life that way. This approach worked, for a while, until the self-involvement eventually led me to wreck and upend everything I had gained and what I thought was important.
Ultimately, I blew everything up and was left wondering what I had done wrong. Everybody said that you have to take care of Number 1. So I did and the results were disastrous.
It was at this moment in my life that I discovered a new way to live. It was a philosophy that took me out of the equation. Instead of "What's in it for me?" the question I would now ask was, "What's in it for us?"
That simple shift from focusing on "me" to concentrating on "we" has made a huge, and positive, impact on my life. Call it being aware of the common good or realizing that I am not the center of the universe, my emotional and mental state has been transformed into one of seeking to be of service to my community and the world around me.
I have learned that if I want respect I have to show respect. If I want gratitude I have to be gracious. If I want sympathy, I have to show empathy.
It's a very simple shift in attitude and behavior. Does it mean I am in a constant state of good cheer? Of course not. But I now know how to adjust my attitude and when I do the results are usually overwhelmingly rewarding.
Try it. You might like it.
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